Friday, April 03, 2009

i was doing mustering and i was thinking so i had the sudden urge to blog.

two things i have been thinking about recently.

first. we i look at myself. my qualities. hmm. light hearted. relaxed. jovial. pretty lame. analytical. detail oriented. organized. extremely serious when i get down to work. tell me if i missed anything. it kinda occurred to me that a quality or a trait can both be a good or a bad thing. depending on how you live out this trait and how others view your rendition of that trait at that point in time.

it doesnt even make u hypocrite. this could just be u, the entire package. however, different circumstances and situations manifests different aspects of ur character or personality.

so anyways. i was thinking, based on my displays and renditions, how do people view me.

act 1, scene 1 [ACS Barker Rd Scout Troop] Marcus eventually come to understand how i work. i do things in my own time frame, and i produce good work, i just dont like some clamping down on me, my work and social persona also vary to both ends of character spectrum. like how i can be straight faced and commanding when i work, yet i can be clowning around and talking nonsense during patrol leader council meetings.

act 1, scene 2 [Pioneer Junior College 7th Student Council] Weilin knew that i could produce work of high quality. but she had the impression that i was too slack, too relaxed. so she always chased me and bit on the heels. well. on one hand, it was annoying, but it made me see my flaw in my inability to work to deadlines and i have managed it better since then. but anyway, i realised i was always also speaking nonsense among frens, among my committee mates, but i was seriously serious during committee meetings, during my entire helming of tpi and openhouse logistics.

act 2, scene 1 [A student in J1 math] My teacher in the first year absolutely hated me. i think she loathed me more then any student in class. well, me being me, i would do my work at my own pace and time, disregarding deadlines, missing lectures i thought were not helpful, moreover, it was a more playful period of my life, so my grades werent ideal either. it didnt help that this teacher was constantly condemning me, and she constantly said she was concerned & just couldnt comprehend my actions. ah wells. well, i still knew my priorities in the end, got my act together and completed the comeback act that saved me a year of my life, without her help.

act 2, scene 2 [A student in J2 math] I got a new teacher in the second year. she was great cus she could actually teach and she had good rapport when my classmates & i. so i continued doing work at my own pace and time, disregarding deadlines, missing lectures i thought werent helpful, but my grades improved considerably cus i never skipped tutorials like i used to. my mc spam for home study sessions annoyed her greatly, but she actually found out that i stayed in school late to study on other days & i was managing my studies well, and that at least it was a system that was working for me. she actually realised that i m not all just a crap talker when i presented tpi to the management committee. she actually told me she was pretty shocked when i went to her for loads of consultations. it was a compliment to me when she told me she felt i ll probably be one of the better performing students in class for the A levels. considering i was clueless on alot of J1 math all the way up to prelims, and blanked out on statistics considering it was my forte. i would say, thanks for helping me with a C.

its interesting how different people have different takes on u but with various aspects remaining constant. generally, my behaviour depended on wad i was doing, and i was a person with poor work efficiency but excellent work quality. i think i have worked on the efficiency since then and its improved. but nevertheless, people see different bits of the same picture. a string of circumstances and situations and an individuals own interpretation will result in a different impression, reaction & conclusion.

such is the complexities of human behaviour i guess. to me, the most difficult, is allowing others to view u, in the way u want them to.

part 2 for the other thing i was thinking about. haha. i shall get back to work.

|cowpoo| 10:34 AM|

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